lucas-and-clark:

Trust me I’d rather me here than Disneyland.

Then it seems we’re doing our jobs right. Would you like me to send one of the fine ladies over here to fetch you a drink?

(Source: eddiebonerpunhere)

gretacheese:

It could go from clean to dirty that quickly?

You’d be amazed at the things I can do quickly. Or slowly too, if you prefer. 

(Source: eddiebonerpunhere)

lucas-and-clark:

Hey Disneyland is cool. Might not have attractive half naked women and alcohol, but Mickey Mouse is still cool.

If you would rather be at Disneyland than here, then the girls haven’t been doing their jobs. I’ll have to get someone on that. 

(Source: eddiebonerpunhere)

ameliabonesy:

I call the customers slags. Especially the ones that don’t tip me well. I took up this job for no other reason than to make fun of the richest people in this country. You seem quite serious. Mum and da would be disappointed to see us now, Ed. 

I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST. LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS. TO FLIRT WITH THEM IS MY REAL TEST. TO GET GOOD TIPS IS MY CAUSE. 

What’s so wrong with that, huh?

(Source: eddiebonerpunhere)

gretacheese:

You called me beautiful twice in the last minute so maybe magic is real.

I didn’t — Hahahahahaha. I didn’t come here for anyone really. Except the alcohol. Maybe the company of a bloke if I got bored, too, but the lot of them here are a tad on the sleazy side. No offense. 

I can’t imagine that’s a rare compliment to your ears. 

Ouch, you wound me. Sleazy? Why no. This is good, clean fun. Unless you’d like it to get dirty. It’s anything you want it to be, gorgeous. It’s your fantasies come to life. 

(Source: eddiebonerpunhere)

lucas-and-clark:

I thought the happiest place on earth was Disneyland?

Until you grow up. And then this is your new playground. 

(Source: eddiebonerpunhere)

ameliabonesy:

Are you fucking — Did Ward slap you upside the head before shift and jumble up your fucking brain? Though, there wasn’t much up there to start with. 

My brains are fine, thank you. But I’m not going to have your big mouth getting us both kicked out. We don’t call the visitors slags, Mia. Repeat after me: we. don’t. call. the. visitors. slags. or. we. get. fired. 

(Source: eddiebonerpunhere)

gretacheese:

Magic? Ha, as if. But alright. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.. Thank you.

I didn’t know blokes could work here. 

When women as beautiful as yourself can exist, then I see no reason why other impossible things can’t be true then too. 

Ah, so you came for the women then? My mistake. 

(Source: eddiebonerpunhere)

ameliabonesy:

It’s because the slags that actually come here can’t resist a fucking ginger. 

You’re on the fucking job you fucking fuck, watch your fucking language. Fuck’s sake. 

(Source: eddiebonerpunhere)

lucas-and-clark:

Why wouldn’t anyone be having a good time?

I wonder the same thing. How could anyone have a bad time here? Happiest place on Earth, or so I’ve heard. But what a shame it would be for someone to feel differently. When that’s the case, it’s my job to change their mind. 

(Source: eddiebonerpunhere)